Today really a big and bad bad days in my life forever le T_T today i have done an hit and run action while i am driving i olady lose m confident in driving anymoreT^T but because i need to work i still need to drive in and out for whole day i really suck up with this kind of days ( need to drive everyday ) every month sure got one accident occurred form the first day i start to drive to work. T_T I think that i am not suitable to drive anymore liao T_T i hope that i will quickly pass all my paper then i will RUN away from here and leave the unsweet memories being cover in myself and nobody will not know about it any more ^^ but if i didnt write it out i really cant overcome my self instinct i always feel out the hit and the wrong deed i have done ... T_T i hope that i can pass this feel as fast as i can because really sad and feel guilty and it make me cant drive concentrate and i scared that i will make an bigger accident ever T_T i really dont want this thing happen again T_T Everytime i got problem that i dont want to share with my closest frens and my family i will write at here because i know that it will not be read by other ppl until the time i really put all this thing down in my live... i always try to be as safe as i could but when something that make me anxious i will change my behaviour and i will very mad i really hope with GOD ｉ ｃａｎ ｃｈａｎｇｅ ｍｙself not always so fast angry and i will make accident occur again i really dont want this thing happen agian i will need to find way to reduce my anger and improve my anger management behaviour liao T_T
This is the really bad month for me in this year le T_T Dunno why this month i really spent a lot of unwanted money for my car haiz.... But not only that jz today i still nearly make an accident by myself jz want to crash over the bump beside the road one le ....really thx GOD about it le if not i think i will crash for another time le ....XD Actually i really cant think about why the accident will be happen on me ....T_T Beside me, my frens oso didnt even see a motorbike beside me one that stay with us so near one lah this really dont make sense one ... but the truth is it really happen in front of my eye and the accident really occured T_T i think that may be this is one of the lesson that GOD want me to learn about it for my carelessness and all my overconfidence behaviour . But from this accident i really learn a lot loh .....jz that my father suffer a lot T_T Beside need to help me pay for the cost of accident he also need to repair the car because the shape of the car olady change and need to do it back to original will ne another few hundred ringgit for me .... Hope that when i drive GOD will always be with me and never leave me alone anymore . Amen God is really real in this world He is the one who protect us all the way we leave.
Look like already at least one or two months didnt come here to write anything lo~~ can say like now i am quite busy with the church fellowship...and the camp for the March one ... wahahaha But GOD sure will help me to overcome it and try the best to help me and i will try my est to do it..^^ Actually when i read back what i write... Really feel that time can make person to forget or put down sometihng that is hard for a person to put down.. Now i can say that i hope i am totally put it down again.... Maybe this time i will put down is because i am busy enough with my study .... my work...and my position in my fellowship that always need me to care about and make me dont have time to think about other thing anymore..XD Maybe this is also one of the way let me forget and dint have the time to think something stupid and daydreaming anymore... Now look back wad i write really feel that i am too childish ... But that can known as puppy love or not i oso cant give a accurate answer...XD But for me i really happy that now i can go bakc to have my normal life and dont have anything that interrupt my life anymore.. And now jz got a lot ofthing need me to worry about and work it out... The new year is coming so prepare myself and have a new life that at least can devote myself for the fellowship... MAy GOD bless me and all of the pple in the world. AMEn..
haiz... this few days feel a sort of boring loh.. nth to do always go to school play nothing..for play to play.. dunno wad to do..T.T study oso no mood do other thing oso dont have the objective.. life like a living corpse and feel that nth for me to stay for in this world..T.T sometime feel that this is life.. but sometime think that i dont want my life jz like that and flew away from my eyesight..(roar) i want to do more and try to be the best to conquer to order not being order the stress of jobless come into my life and the pressure that gave by parent of finding job is come always but they never know about it and i never want to tell them abd dont want tell my fren either..XD bcause this is my life i dont want other ppl worried about me i jz want to carry my burden myself although sometime i will try to seek help from god but sometime jz cannot admit that i always try my best b4 i seek help from GOD..T.T may be i have a very high confidence on myself and never want to seek help from fren or GOD neither.. but when the problem really came.. and i cant afford i go to find GOD but not seek help from HIM but is go there to blame HIM why became like that.T.T but GOD will use HIS way to tell me wad i wan and why i will be like that.. although sometime i dont want to admit it but that is true that i am easily to suspicious something that happen aroud me and i have a very good imaginative that no make my life more colourful but make it more terror more horrible than ever...T.T now my life a bit boring ..no night life not going out find fren "yam cha" so bored until want to kill ppl..XD play games until boring and really horrible if a person that is nth to do.. wad they need to do only sleeping , eating, and do nothing.. now i can feel that the old ppl feel now.. bcause they will be like that and much more they cant do anything about it but only can accept the faith on it..hahaha
