回想一下我真是蛮久没来这里玩了咯～～
通常我写的东西我根本不喜欢和人分享就如我的性格T-T
钱钱钱～～～
以前算是我最渴望也是最容易让我犯罪的一件看似可爱的玩意儿但也有可能被玩回头～～
进入真题！！！
对爱情这个玩意儿我看是时间收手了～～
或者说是时间放手了也可以咯呵呵;p
我现在一定要好好定下我的目标了我这几个月来根本是漫无目的的玩感情玩事业玩学业～～
弄的我自己一塌糊涂！！！！
一件事都没做好来！！真是失败透顶了啦～～
而且我真的要适可而止了我可能玩得太过头了咯～～
因为我玩到现在我根本没有真正的放感情进去因为我真的怕被伤害了我真的有恐惧症了
而且她已成为了我选的每一位女孩子的那一道防线了
虽然她现在有着男朋友，但是我看来还没真的放弃她～～
我希望她不会感觉到因为我真的很难才在跟她联络上我不想再破坏了
但是为了维持和她的交情我间接伤害了某个人的感情（可能而已啦，我也不知道的。。。）
因为我对她算是有一点情啦但是我根本没真正的喜欢上她而且她也有喜欢的人所以我本不想打扰她的。。。但是我却间接的把她当女朋友来看待让我试试看有多好咯
可是看来今天我真的玩过了火希望她不会避开或者生气我啦。。;p
对感情这一方面我真的不敢再和朋友说了因为真的很容易或说太容易被朋友出卖了也不能轻信他们所说的～～
因为我可能只是一个烟幕而已，。。但是却给他们说到像真的一样咯弄的我自己很辛苦很辛苦T-T
所以我现在不得不学习如何在他们讲这些事的时候我可以保持我的立场而且我一定要学会观察我身边的每一个人
但是我这么一做我们小组里就因为我自己的心态有问题而让整个小组变怪怪掉所以我不得不正视这个问题～～
想了这么久我觉得这应该不是我所能控制的事想太也于事无补所以我现在写进来这里之后我就放掉了
就算他们拿出来说我也会陪他们说因为我的心态我已经知道了我也不会那么容易动摇了我的立场～～
说真的可能鱼的立场也是很坚定的只是在说是有点虚浮罢了～～
是我低估了她可能我还成为了她的笑柄呢也说不定^^
把这些写出来了我开心许多了啦哈哈哈
Friday, November 6, 2009
Saturday, October 3, 2009
Unpleasant feeling keep haunted me all the way T_T
Today really a big and bad bad days in my life forever le T_T
today i have done an hit and run action while i am driving i olady lose m confident in driving anymoreT^T
but because i need to work i still need to drive in and out for whole day i really suck up with this kind of days ( need to drive everyday )
every month sure got one accident occurred form the first day i start to drive to work. T_T
I think that i am not suitable to drive anymore liao T_T
i hope that i will quickly pass all my paper then i will RUN away from here and leave the unsweet memories being cover in myself and nobody will not know about it any more ^^
but if i didnt write it out i really cant overcome my self instinct i always feel out the hit and the wrong deed i have done ... T_T
i hope that i can pass this feel as fast as i can because really sad and feel guilty and it make me cant drive concentrate and i scared that i will make an bigger accident ever T_T
i really dont want this thing happen again T_T
Everytime i got problem that i dont want to share with my closest frens and my family i will write at here because i know that it will not be read by other ppl until the time i really put all this thing down in my live...
i always try to be as safe as i could but when something that make me anxious i will change my behaviour and i will very mad i really hope with GOD ｉ ｃａｎ ｃｈａｎｇｅ ｍｙself not always so fast angry and i will make accident occur again i really dont want this thing happen agian i will need to find way to reduce my anger
and improve my anger management behaviour liao T_T
today i have done an hit and run action while i am driving i olady lose m confident in driving anymoreT^T
but because i need to work i still need to drive in and out for whole day i really suck up with this kind of days ( need to drive everyday )
every month sure got one accident occurred form the first day i start to drive to work. T_T
I think that i am not suitable to drive anymore liao T_T
i hope that i will quickly pass all my paper then i will RUN away from here and leave the unsweet memories being cover in myself and nobody will not know about it any more ^^
but if i didnt write it out i really cant overcome my self instinct i always feel out the hit and the wrong deed i have done ... T_T
i hope that i can pass this feel as fast as i can because really sad and feel guilty and it make me cant drive concentrate and i scared that i will make an bigger accident ever T_T
i really dont want this thing happen again T_T
Everytime i got problem that i dont want to share with my closest frens and my family i will write at here because i know that it will not be read by other ppl until the time i really put all this thing down in my live...
i always try to be as safe as i could but when something that make me anxious i will change my behaviour and i will very mad i really hope with GOD ｉ ｃａｎ ｃｈａｎｇｅ ｍｙself not always so fast angry and i will make accident occur again i really dont want this thing happen agian i will need to find way to reduce my anger
and improve my anger management behaviour liao T_T
Friday, August 14, 2009
The unlucky month (August)
This is the really bad month for me in this year le T_T
Dunno why this month i really spent a lot of unwanted money for my car haiz....
But not only that jz today i still nearly make an accident by myself jz want to crash
over the bump beside the road one le ....really thx GOD about it le if not i think i will crash for another time le ....XD
Actually i really cant think about why the accident will be happen on me ....T_T
Beside me, my frens oso didnt even see a motorbike beside me one that stay with us so near one lah
this really dont make sense one ... but the truth is it really happen in front of my eye and the accident really occured T_T
i think that may be this is one of the lesson that GOD want me to learn about it for my carelessness and all my overconfidence behaviour .
But from this accident i really learn a lot loh .....jz that my father suffer a lot T_T
Beside need to help me pay for the cost of accident he also need to repair the car because the shape of the car olady change and need to do it back to original will ne another few hundred ringgit for me ....
Hope that when i drive GOD will always be with me and never leave me alone anymore . Amen
God is really real in this world He is the one who protect us all the way we leave.
Dunno why this month i really spent a lot of unwanted money for my car haiz....
But not only that jz today i still nearly make an accident by myself jz want to crash
over the bump beside the road one le ....really thx GOD about it le if not i think i will crash for another time le ....XD
Actually i really cant think about why the accident will be happen on me ....T_T
Beside me, my frens oso didnt even see a motorbike beside me one that stay with us so near one lah
this really dont make sense one ... but the truth is it really happen in front of my eye and the accident really occured T_T
i think that may be this is one of the lesson that GOD want me to learn about it for my carelessness and all my overconfidence behaviour .
But from this accident i really learn a lot loh .....jz that my father suffer a lot T_T
Beside need to help me pay for the cost of accident he also need to repair the car because the shape of the car olady change and need to do it back to original will ne another few hundred ringgit for me ....
Hope that when i drive GOD will always be with me and never leave me alone anymore . Amen
God is really real in this world He is the one who protect us all the way we leave.
Friday, December 26, 2008
Happy christmas ~~
Look like already at least one or two months didnt come here to write anything lo~~
can say like now i am quite busy with the church fellowship...and the camp for the March one ...
wahahaha
But GOD sure will help me to overcome it and try the best to help me and i will try my est to do it..^^
Actually when i read back what i write...
Really feel that time can make person to forget or put down sometihng that is hard for a person to put down..
Now i can say that i hope i am totally put it down again....
Maybe this time i will put down is because i am busy enough with my study .... my work...and my position in my fellowship that always need me to care about and make me dont have time to think about other thing anymore..XD
Maybe this is also one of the way let me forget and dint have the time to think something stupid and daydreaming anymore...
Now look back wad i write really feel that i am too childish ...
But that can known as puppy love or not i oso cant give a accurate answer...XD
But for me i really happy that now i can go bakc to have my normal life and dont have anything that interrupt my life anymore..
And now jz got a lot ofthing need me to worry about and work it out...
The new year is coming
so prepare myself and have a new life that at least can devote myself for the fellowship...
MAy GOD bless me and all of the pple in the world. AMEn..
can say like now i am quite busy with the church fellowship...and the camp for the March one ...
wahahaha
But GOD sure will help me to overcome it and try the best to help me and i will try my est to do it..^^
Actually when i read back what i write...
Really feel that time can make person to forget or put down sometihng that is hard for a person to put down..
Now i can say that i hope i am totally put it down again....
Maybe this time i will put down is because i am busy enough with my study .... my work...and my position in my fellowship that always need me to care about and make me dont have time to think about other thing anymore..XD
Maybe this is also one of the way let me forget and dint have the time to think something stupid and daydreaming anymore...
Now look back wad i write really feel that i am too childish ...
But that can known as puppy love or not i oso cant give a accurate answer...XD
But for me i really happy that now i can go bakc to have my normal life and dont have anything that interrupt my life anymore..
And now jz got a lot ofthing need me to worry about and work it out...
The new year is coming
so prepare myself and have a new life that at least can devote myself for the fellowship...
MAy GOD bless me and all of the pple in the world. AMEn..
Wednesday, September 10, 2008
boring...sort of...XD
haiz...
this few days feel a sort of boring loh..
nth to do always go to school play nothing..for play to play..
dunno wad to do..T.T
study oso no mood do other thing oso dont have the objective..
life like a living corpse and feel that nth for me to stay for in this world..T.T
sometime feel that this is life..
but sometime think that i dont want my life jz like that and flew away from my eyesight..(roar)
i want to do more and try to be the best to conquer to order not being order the stress of jobless come into my life and the pressure that gave by parent of finding job is come always but they never know about it and i never want to tell them abd dont want tell my fren either..XD
bcause this is my life i dont want other ppl worried about me i jz want to carry my burden myself although sometime i will try to seek help from god but sometime jz cannot admit that i always try my best b4 i seek help from GOD..T.T
may be i have a very high confidence on myself and never want to seek help from fren or GOD neither..
but when the problem really came..
and i cant afford i go to find GOD but not seek help from HIM but is go there to blame HIM why became like that.T.T
but GOD will use HIS way to tell me wad i wan and why i will be like that..
although sometime i dont want to admit it but that is true that i am easily to suspicious something that happen aroud me and i have a very good imaginative that no make my life more colourful but make it more terror more horrible than ever...T.T
now my life a bit boring ..no night life not going out find fren "yam cha" so bored until want to kill ppl..XD
play games until boring and really horrible if a person that is nth to do..
wad they need to do only sleeping , eating, and do nothing..
now i can feel that the old ppl feel now..
bcause they will be like that and much more they cant do anything about it but only can accept the faith on it..hahaha
this few days feel a sort of boring loh..
nth to do always go to school play nothing..for play to play..
dunno wad to do..T.T
study oso no mood do other thing oso dont have the objective..
life like a living corpse and feel that nth for me to stay for in this world..T.T
sometime feel that this is life..
but sometime think that i dont want my life jz like that and flew away from my eyesight..(roar)
i want to do more and try to be the best to conquer to order not being order the stress of jobless come into my life and the pressure that gave by parent of finding job is come always but they never know about it and i never want to tell them abd dont want tell my fren either..XD
bcause this is my life i dont want other ppl worried about me i jz want to carry my burden myself although sometime i will try to seek help from god but sometime jz cannot admit that i always try my best b4 i seek help from GOD..T.T
may be i have a very high confidence on myself and never want to seek help from fren or GOD neither..
but when the problem really came..
and i cant afford i go to find GOD but not seek help from HIM but is go there to blame HIM why became like that.T.T
but GOD will use HIS way to tell me wad i wan and why i will be like that..
although sometime i dont want to admit it but that is true that i am easily to suspicious something that happen aroud me and i have a very good imaginative that no make my life more colourful but make it more terror more horrible than ever...T.T
now my life a bit boring ..no night life not going out find fren "yam cha" so bored until want to kill ppl..XD
play games until boring and really horrible if a person that is nth to do..
wad they need to do only sleeping , eating, and do nothing..
now i can feel that the old ppl feel now..
bcause they will be like that and much more they cant do anything about it but only can accept the faith on it..hahaha
Tuesday, September 2, 2008
朋友VS情侣
这一次打算用华语了。。。
朋友之间能有礼让精神为什么到达了情侣阶段就很像要情侣配合你而不是互相礼让呢？？
感觉上当一个朋友变成情侣后她们会很怀旧以前还没变成情侣时的事情。。
因为她们还是朋友所以都会互相让对方。。。
一旦成为情侣后。。
事情就变了。。
我也不知道为什么啦。。XD
有时候会觉得我追不到我喜欢的女生是好还是坏。。。T.T
因为我和她自少海能成为好朋友而不是成为陌生人。。
但是和她没有更近一步的发展却有点伤心的说。。T.T
虽说我要放下我对她的感情但是说是容易啊。。。T.T
要做是却很难啊！！！！
我已经试着放下这段感情了。。
自认风流的我想不到追得第一个女生就被拒绝了
哈哈哈哈哈哈。。。
自以为能很容易放下这段感情的我想不到还是放不下。。T.T
没有的时候还可以有了之后就放不下真可怜啊。。T.T
朋友之间能有礼让精神为什么到达了情侣阶段就很像要情侣配合你而不是互相礼让呢？？
感觉上当一个朋友变成情侣后她们会很怀旧以前还没变成情侣时的事情。。
因为她们还是朋友所以都会互相让对方。。。
一旦成为情侣后。。
事情就变了。。
我也不知道为什么啦。。XD
有时候会觉得我追不到我喜欢的女生是好还是坏。。。T.T
因为我和她自少海能成为好朋友而不是成为陌生人。。
但是和她没有更近一步的发展却有点伤心的说。。T.T
虽说我要放下我对她的感情但是说是容易啊。。。T.T
要做是却很难啊！！！！
我已经试着放下这段感情了。。
自认风流的我想不到追得第一个女生就被拒绝了
哈哈哈哈哈哈。。。
自以为能很容易放下这段感情的我想不到还是放不下。。T.T
没有的时候还可以有了之后就放不下真可怜啊。。T.T
Wednesday, August 27, 2008
hoho
a very long time didnt come here to write le...
feels that already a quater of year didnt write not because of busy..
but is nth to write le..
feel like a person that has nth to do but always play around with the world...~.~
yesterday feel bored so go to mega ( eating placeand got cyber) ...
actually want to go there play dota...
but when i meet my fren at there he invite me play chinese chess with...
heck i play 10 round with him only win a round only T.T
dunno why i am so lousy in playing this kind of strategies game loh...
after that i don wan to play anymore bcause i am headache liao...XD
not bcause i always lose to him so i give up oh.....
but really feel tired and i still got class in the evening de leh.....
this blog actually i dont want my fren to find it ...
but yesterday or few days before my fren actually find my blog and try to pubkish it liao..=.=
really dunno wad is he thinking about lah...
but today got time come here to blogging bcause i really dunno wad to do anymore liao...XD
bcause my fren delete the dota( a strategies game) from her pc liao...T.T
so come here to blogging and try to find out more about myself...
last few weeks i got read a book title" dare to fail" before i go to check my CAT result....
at that time i feel that fail is a road that must walk by all ppl only how we fail is different ....
so from that time i want to find a opportunity to fail bcause until now i still havent got any failure in my education except my love la..XD
but that one i already dont feel anything liao..
bcause we still need to stand up from there we cant always fall down at there and dont want to stand up aymore..
so i try to focus on my study when i got class lah..
although sometime i will feel lonely..T.T
but nth i can do...
i dont want to disturb her life anymore... and she got the ppl she like oso liao..haha
so this make me can straight away to cut through all kind of feeling i got on her..
but now already dont have feel liao..
only treat her as good fren le...
although ppl say that never has a guy can be fren forever with a girl lah..XD
forgot to say that...
haha
my result is come out liao..
so happy i pass all of the papers and feel likee my breath is come back to me again ...XD
really too long didnt blogging liao now feel tired of typing liao..XD
so will stop here for a while first...XD
feels that already a quater of year didnt write not because of busy..
but is nth to write le..
feel like a person that has nth to do but always play around with the world...~.~
yesterday feel bored so go to mega ( eating placeand got cyber) ...
actually want to go there play dota...
but when i meet my fren at there he invite me play chinese chess with...
heck i play 10 round with him only win a round only T.T
dunno why i am so lousy in playing this kind of strategies game loh...
after that i don wan to play anymore bcause i am headache liao...XD
not bcause i always lose to him so i give up oh.....
but really feel tired and i still got class in the evening de leh.....
this blog actually i dont want my fren to find it ...
but yesterday or few days before my fren actually find my blog and try to pubkish it liao..=.=
really dunno wad is he thinking about lah...
but today got time come here to blogging bcause i really dunno wad to do anymore liao...XD
bcause my fren delete the dota( a strategies game) from her pc liao...T.T
so come here to blogging and try to find out more about myself...
last few weeks i got read a book title" dare to fail" before i go to check my CAT result....
at that time i feel that fail is a road that must walk by all ppl only how we fail is different ....
so from that time i want to find a opportunity to fail bcause until now i still havent got any failure in my education except my love la..XD
but that one i already dont feel anything liao..
bcause we still need to stand up from there we cant always fall down at there and dont want to stand up aymore..
so i try to focus on my study when i got class lah..
although sometime i will feel lonely..T.T
but nth i can do...
i dont want to disturb her life anymore... and she got the ppl she like oso liao..haha
so this make me can straight away to cut through all kind of feeling i got on her..
but now already dont have feel liao..
only treat her as good fren le...
although ppl say that never has a guy can be fren forever with a girl lah..XD
forgot to say that...
haha
my result is come out liao..
so happy i pass all of the papers and feel likee my breath is come back to me again ...XD
really too long didnt blogging liao now feel tired of typing liao..XD
so will stop here for a while first...XD
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